sometimes when i look at you, and i think back of all the good times we had. i think i find myself lost in the situation. maybe, just maybe sometimes i wish things would go back to the way it should be. how is it that we lived and we loved but yet we end up fighting. against all odds, we left each other.

how is it that, everything wasn't meant to be? maybe just maybe, those pieces that you left behind.. im still keeping it. we were the best of the best, but yet we still.

maybe this was the way it would be. i dont know how we'd react if i see you again. there were 3 of us. but now there's only 1 of me.

You my butterfly. Sugar, baby.

The truth about truth is, it hurts. So usually we lie.

It has been a good weekend spent (again) with the boyfriend. I'm enjoying the life I'm leading pretty much right now. With the inner and the outer circle friends, somehow it just fits everything into perfect shape. This year's luck for me is better than good so I'm expecting a whole lot more from this year. Well, last year was bad for me in terms of the chinese zodiac.

So with the CNY coming, and going really soon, I'm hoping to get myself fixed up in more ways than one. I went for a good morning run with Justin, the boss, at Macritchie Reservoir and i'm aching from top to bottom. (Hey, you should give me a call if you want to go and exercise too.) That was on Saturday morning, which I went to Sentosa with the boyfriend in the noon with Firdian & Avanna (the lovables), coupled along with the boyfriend's friends where I needed to gulp one cup of barcadi on the rocks before I leave Sentosa (*rolls my eye*)

Now I'm having muscle fatigue from all that exercising. But I'm still going to go to Sentosa this Sunday, and it'll be a routine nevertheless.

Yesterday I went to Martin's (the boss of the boss) house where darling won $88 angpow which was really funny, cos we never expected him to get it. And the rounds of blackjack, chor dai dee and mahjong was going around over and over again. I only managed to make it back home, with all that laughing with Steffie in mahojng at Justin's house afterwards. I reached home at 5am. It's 3.12pm now and I'm thinking, I'm spending too many late nights out these days.

But what the hell, when I get up this morning, I called 6 clients already so I'm good with work, fun, and play. (Notice I put fun & play twice?)

I spent my CNY fruitfully gambling my holiday away. Although I had much fun, I truly regret sleeping early last night because now I'm suffering from post - nevergotozoukthisweek syndrome. And I'm suffering inside out because I want to sleep but I can't sleep.

I played mahjong from 9pm - 7am with the boyfriend,jules and justin over at my place. Man, that was something. Then I slept from 7am - 2pm only to wake up with my 3 girlfriends over. And soon after I fell asleep very early at 10pm. so guess what time I got up this morning, 525am. I woke khai up to go to camp,and I couldn't sleep since then.

So I've been up online the whole time downloading all my retro songs. "i should be so lucky, lucky lucky lucky..." and all those "you spin me right round baby right round like a record..", "gimme hope joanna..." Ahahaha. So when I looked for Lih Yee to ask for this Chinese song "Kiss goodbye", the conversation went like this.

; i feel you creeping. i can see it from my shadow says:

Hm. I'm not cheena-fied, nor am I retro-fied. I'm just updating the songs in my MP3 Player. It used to be every 2 songs it would change to a reggaeton song, but now it's every 2 songs, it's trance music. 'Cos the boyfriend uploaded it up. So I'm just uploading my retro music since I didn't go to zouk last night :( Hahahaa!

Now I'm really really tired but I can't go to sleep :( and I'm itching for mahjong again.

Fuck thediary, it screwed my whole entry. Now I have to type it again. *cringes*

Since my long hiatus from writing anything inside my blog, I find it hard now to cough out words for a good enough entry. Receiving so little comments and hardly anybody come to my blog nowadays, I shrug at the thought of it and seldom blog. Well, since Valentines Day was yesterday, I decided to write something 'bout it.

For the last 18 years of my life, I've never actually had a date-date where some handsome charming prince gallop down with his horse and take me by my arms and take the whole night out to serenade me. No, just kidding. Alright, I've never actually had a date-date where some guy would take me out to some nice dinner and pamper me with presents and shower me with love. Somehow, it just never worked out for me. So Valentines day has always been overly overly overrated (is there even such a phrase?).

My man and I throttled down to Somerset (Cineleisure) at 11pm (yes,11pm) last night and thought we catch a movie. We started counting those girls who had flowers with them and yes, you can smell jealousy in the air. Anyway, there were flowers and balloons and all the "Today, Tomorrow & Forever I love you" kind of balloons going on around town area. It was sweet, but hardly any flower/balloon/soft toy gets noticed which is sad. 

Firstly, the flowers that we see were all one stalk roses, courtesy of cheapo boyfriends who couldnt afford a whole bouquet of roses because v day ma, prices of flowers hike up. bo pian. Then what seems to be the significant of flowers? To me, i've never taken a liking to flowers. I enjoy receiving them but it is quite an irritant in my room. Especially when the flowers start catching insects and flies and those insects annoy the hell out of me when they start biting me. 
   
Never the mind, the only reason I like to receive flowers is so that I can show off to the next best female species around me. These weird females will go "oooh" and "ahhh" and smell my flowers. Better yet, they wont stop talking about me for the next 2 days. 

So I never got to understand what the meaning of flowers seem to be on a woman. For me, soft toys are much better! HAHAHA. :D

Women *shrugs*

tonight im just feeling like i have so much to say, yet have none to be put into words. i get this feeling that im shoved aside, pushed right up against the wall, yet i feel so carefree.

i wonder why.

lie back down as i massage you.

im reading a fucking A book. it's called "my daughter's boyfriend" by cydney rox. raunchy, sex driven book. its extremely fascinating, and i just can't put the book down.

today i experienced "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". but in inez's word, "hell hath no fury like a LYN scorned". i completely ignored somebody to the extent that whatever that came out of my mouth was a personal attack. that's a first for me at CMM, because i havent actually gotten to be sarcastic to anyone or angry at anyone yet. 'sides, even when they have those rally like "we hate so & so" im never a part of it. because i choose not to be.

that got my crankiness up to one notch higher, only to have myself tired out. :(

you know how sometimes you feel as though you're grapling at your throats while somebody sucks the blood and the life out of you? that's exactly how im feeling right this minute.

the baby boy is back, and im happy for that. but like a piece of pie that you take for granted, ns took him back again today just for him to stay in one more night. so what if it deserve an off day in due time, it's not exactly fun to have my boyfriend returned to me one night, and he's gone the next. im still expecting to sleep next to him every night.

anyhoo, just for the fun of it, the boyfriend and i went to the whosgoing.sg party last night at mos. i meant we had to be there by 9pm and all. and we were stuck at smoove for a bit, which kinda sucks. really, mos smoove is one hell of a shitty place to be. ive been to so many places better which plays better r&b/hiphop/reggaeton.

and then we met the boyfriend's sister and stayed for a bit till 1am, where i absolutely needed to go to mambo@zouk. apparently those people at mos just didnt know the dance steps to "i should be so lucky,lucky lucky lucky in love." or "who u gonna call... ghostbusters!" ahahahha.

so we headed to zouk for more "you spin me right round baby right rounddd.." and "up joanna.. up up joanna.. " ive been going to zouk for 4 consecutive weeks already.. oh my.

so boyfriend and i clubbed ourselves for the first time, and it was enjoyable enough. more to come.

i arrived at school at 8.10am, and have lessons only at 10am. never mind, ive got lots to do. proposals & business plan and all. grr. OMG im so tired!!!!