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| again i say, i might be bitchy, but im nice really, at least most of the time.. |
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| The sun, the sand, the BEACH. The beach, oh how I love the beach. Yes, I went to Sentosa-finally. After what, a good few months of not being there and YES I do want to go back this coming Sunday again for the fun of it, so I'm going to post it up for everybody to see. (: The boyfriend, his 2 other mates and me! We were swimming around Siloso beach, and only God knows when was the last time I went to Sentosa. (was it the one with Antor?) I've been so busy with other things lately that I haven't found time to visit the beach to have the fun I deserve. So I'm picking up my pace for a lot of things lately. I'm finally working on my assignments, and I'm finally going to really put my heads down and help Justin with sales. I think it's about time I have my share of passive income coming in yet again. They're not really passive, but they come after a few months of closing the sale. So I'm pulling my socks up higher than ever. And really, there's really nobody commenting. | ||
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| I just keep going down, down, down. I should never be left alone. I have a problem with paranoia. It just keeps bringing me down no matter how high I climb up. I tend to worry about too many things that is absolutely unnecessary, but still I think. and still I wonder. and still I hope somethings never happen. | ||
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| Then it leads to tears in my eye. | ||
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| I hate to be put on hold. I hate not having to know what's going on or who's doing what or what's going where. Something along that waiting line makes me pissed off. It's just like false hope. Expectations. no wait, Expecting. You know you might just never get it, but still you wait like a fool. and i guess it's being the fool that pisses me off. i know i should find things to do to occupy myself instead of waiting and waiting and waiting. but i cant help myself, really. it's the false hope that's eating me inside. nonetheless, i guess everybody has their hatred of waiting. mine's just a little bit more that i have to blog about it to complain. and nobody comments on my blog anymore. :( | ||
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| I'm feeling a lack of excitement today. It's probably because the assignments are piling up, and the fact that I need to go see a doctor that's making me trip, right now. I'm beginning to feel a lack of zest in doing the proper things like studying and doing my assignments. The start of poly days, Last April, i had a different insight to my assignments. It's as though I like to do it, and finish it and re-do another copy in a different way. Perhaps it's the excitement of doing a whole new module that pushes me to do it more productively. However, coming to this semester 2 has made me an even lazier person. Thanks to the timetable, I only need to come to school twice a week for tutorials, making me feel the uneventful-ness of school. Maybe the lack of excitement today is due to the fact that I'm drained out of everything. Drained of money, drained of love, drained of school and drained, litereally. I went for another camp yesterday, where I brought the students out for Kayaking and was forced to participate myself. Truth be told, it actually sounds quite exciting because i'm going to be out in the sea, kayaking - something i used to enjoy. But not with 40 students in my mind, and I partner-ed a kiddo who does not know how to swim, and fears the water very much. Of course, with our launch, two minutes to it, and we already capsized. I don't like the feeling of having my butt in the kayak, and turning 180 degrees. To taste the seawater, to have my whole body wet from the seawater and to quickly turn around, put my feet on the ground, and carry my already-drowned kiddo who was gasping for air. "Breathe, darling, just breathe. You're in the open air." [a slow poof came out of his mouth] "We can stand, you need to stand, you have to stand. Just stand. It'll be okay. My knee is supporting your back. Just stand" "No, cannot... I cannot stand..." "Please stand. It will only be the sand. Then I'll take you to the shore." "I can't stand.. I will drown..." [ a large amount of him kicking the seawater in my face] "Dont panic. Don't. Don't panic. I can't carry you to the shore.." and then the kayaking instructor and the teacher-in-charge came into the sea and helped me pull him straight up. Of course, straight after the camp, I shoot up to Clarke Quay (MOS) area, where I met with some good people. Party-ed at Zouk till 3am, and I got really bored so I cabb-ed it down to the boyfriend's place to have to wake up at 6am, 'fore the boyfriend goes to work. Now I'm suffering from a really bad case of sore throat, and a bout of muscle fatigue. Now, wasn't it all worth it? | ||
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| See, I knew more PHOTOS would come. I just didn't know when. I rummaged through my older email to look for (Rubber)Ben's WindowsLiveSpaces to find his photos. And yes! I found my birthday girl pictures :) So I'm only displaying those that I look better in. (of course i look nice in all.)    I know they are pretty, :D You can always ask for their number from me.   we are just really happy people. really.  Lastly, here's to our relationship bee.  | ||
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| I give UP. I'm always hard on writing something interestingly enough in my blog so that people would come back for more. I seem to have a lot to say yet I don't know how to put it in words. It really gets on my nerve to see the very first entry being some really crappy one that nobody would even sit through the whole thing reading it. I downloaded a new song. [ I see you winding and grinding up on that pole I know you see me looking at you and you already know. I wanna love you, you already know. I wanna love you, you already know. ] Okay, I downloaded this song a really long time ago. But I just HAD to say I downloaded a new song. How else would it qualify my putting it on this entry? Especially since this song is quite a very catchy song that I've been hearing on the radio for the last 2 weeks. But then I downloaded this version on BitComet. Every single version of it. Explicit, Album, Instrumental of that song. OMG. I just, accidentally downloaded it. And then it goes like this. [ I see you winding and grinding up on that pole I know you see me looking at you and you already know. I wanna fuck you, you already know. I wanna fuck you, you already know. ] I swear to you, it's really funny. Ask me to send it to you when we have time. It's like, I've been listening to the part "I wanna love you" change to "I wanna fuck you.." like it's plainly a very yep-that's-prolly-the-truth thing going on in my head. Not many men would think of loving the girl the first time they see them. Especially since the girl is "grinding and winding" on that pole. Oh, on a lighter note, perhaps the reason why I like Phuture is because they play every single song I like. The moment I step in, obviously. It's all the old hiphop songs .. those I used to like. And then suddenly this song came on. Akon ft Snoop Dogg - I wanna love you That was when I fell in love with Phuture. | ||
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| I must start to pick up blogging again. It's the same ol' feeling when you haven't blog for quite some time, you end up not blogging for a really long while because it seems there's hardly anything to write, or say. Everytime you have the energy to start blogging, you end up with nothing much in your entry. Worst, it's a bunch of gibberish on the entry itself. Which is why today, I declare myself talking rubbish in this entry. There are a lot of assignments piling up, afterall, I had so much fun the last one week. It's about time I start ploughing through my assignments and doing a better job for the rest of the semester. Not forgetting, there's only one major exam tested. And of course, law. Law would be tested too. So I've got 2 examinations on my head, coming up. And a whole lot of assignments I have to score in, in order to move to year 2. | ||
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| im going to keep this short because the previous entry was screwed by thediary. a million and one apologies go out to the ones who msn-ed/sms-ed me during the last two week and which never ever received a reply. 10th - 12th was spent at a 3d2n camp at siglap secondary with the best mates for facilitators. chenglong,jaslyn,ivan. and of course the rest of us 21. 13th & 14th were spent with the cfa 10 bunch. of course, i havent been home the last 5 days. not to forget even on the 12th (friday night) itself, was spent at the boyfriend's place. alongside, came my birthday celebrations. i cant thank you enough dear boyfriend for spending the whole of this week with me. monday was out shopping with the boyfriend for the birthday suit (*Ahem*) not THAT birthday suit, but what i could wear for the week. i spent my monday night at my boyfriend's place. monday night was spent yet at the boyfriend's place. tuesday came, and went past really fast. with the seven sins for a birthday celebration. thank you if not anymore, jules,hirzi,munah,candice,izyan,nura. for the huge-ass tortoise which i simply adore. boyfriend and i took a ride at town with the bigbigbigbig tortoise and we caught a movie. then we went down to marina bay mrt to meet the people for my other birthday celebration. steamboat @ marina south. i would loved to name each and every person for being there but there were about 30 of the cheerios bunch. below entry were the photos of that night. surprisingly, i got 3 of the huge-ass tortoise which are now sitting quietly on my bed :) wednesday was the actual birthday. i spent it with the boyfriend. and clubbing at night with chestine, and jules. i got so drunk it was not funny. it was ladies night, and we were out at gotham penthouse, then mos. and then finally cheekys. in which i got so drunk. thursday was where i met shahril(s) & syuadah. a meeting never to forget. it has been a good one year of not meeting. friday was spent lazing at the boyfriend's place. and then to a gay club, Why Not at Tanjong Pagar where i had a blast of a time. followed by ZOUK AND PHUTURE! with randall, and candice's auntie, and candice. MY GOD ZOUK! My first virgin trip there. and man, im so in love with the place. phuture plays so much better than smoove i tell you. from now on, im only patronizing phuture/zouk. okay, i take that back. saturday was again spent lazing at the boyfriend's place, because i was so drunk it's not funny. we only arrived home at 6am. where we slept till about 3pm. sunday, today. was where boyfriend,justin and anqi headed down to johore bahru where we had food after food after food. that sums up my whole birthday celebration. this year. cheers to a happy 18th. and thank you each and everyone who wished me, who was there to celebrate this 18th birthday, and those who forgot my birthday. and thank you, if not enough, boyfriend for spending each and every single day with me. i cant ask for more than what you've already given me. | ||
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| You know how monotonous a blog can get especially when there's no photos? And recently, people always complain I write too short a post, or I absolutely have not a single photo on my blog. So here goes. :) These were photos on 16th January, a day before my birthday. AND IT'S SO HILARIOUS I TELL YOU. I RECEIVED 3 SIMILAR PRESENTS FROM 3 DIFFERENT PEOPLE. What are the odds of that, man?  One boy one girl. Look how sweet we are :)  qing ni gen wo zhe yang zhuo. STEFFIE 4! LETI 3! .. hahaha!  This is the CCI bunch, the people who were there. Look how supportive they are. I'm so touched! :D LASTLY, I WOULD LIKE TO END OF WITH THIS HILARIOUS PICTURE, would you look at the people?  more to come. | ||
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| I dont think anybody even remotely cares how i feel. I dont want materials; I just want attention. | ||
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| It's 4.41am and it's not one of those OHMYGOD I'm still up thing. It's the OHMYGOD I fucking got up at 4.41am. I have to be at Siglap Secondary by 730am. So I gots to catch the first bus/train whatever. Wish me luck bitch. My whole lower back is paralysed. That time of the month again. | ||
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| Recently I'm swamped with a lot of funny people. It's like I'm surrounded with extremely funny people. :D The funniest conversation today goes to Nura dear, just before I bathe to go and meet her. I sms-ed her. Me: Today I feel like being annoying (: Guess what her reply was? Nura: Oh no! STAY HOME! YEA, but I know deep in her heart she loves me still (: and she likes me for me. and she likes me for being annoying. and yep. she likes me (: | ||
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| Everything doesnt just work out. Everything just falls apart. It's those times when you want something so bad and you cant have it that makes everybody, including you yourself and all those around you angry and pissed. I cry and I cry and I cry but what difference would it make? | ||
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In an attempt to annoy my friend this morning, I refused to do what he wants me to do.
I interviewed him last night for a Journalism project yet again because I was supposed to interview somebody interesting. So I thought, he my friend, would be an interesting topic. Furthermore, it's a bloody 700 word article. It's got to be somebody who has a lot of juice inside for me to squeeze.
By the way, his name is Ryan Tan and he's a magician.
So this morning as I sit in front of the computer in TP's lab, he buzzed me on MSN and asked me not to put his real name in the article. So I said,
Me: "Why? Ryan Tan sounds like a fake name what..." R: "HAHAHA. :D sure sure.. No. it's sounds like a real name. Put Rey or something.. Please don't put my real name pls pls pls. " Me: "Okay la okay la.. I put Ryan Tan (not his real name) is a student...."
Sometimes I can be an annoying bitch. AHHAHAHA. | ||
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You know these days many people seem to ask me what kind of men I like. And I'd tell them I look for Intelligence and Smell first. I don't really like spending a whole night out with a guy who can't spell his alphabets well enough. Never mind that, the worst thing is if he can't even pronounce his words well enough. Or he misses an "S" in his grammar, or a "was" became an "is". I used to date romantic guys who would sit in the cinema and ask me "Huh, what that guy say.?", "Huh, what does protestant mean?", "Huh, what that guy mean?" and I get pretty pissed off because I have to go one round and explain to them "what that guy mean". These days when I lie back in the cinema chairs and sit next to Khai, I don't think it's ever necessary to explain anything to him unless of course we're watching a Chinese show that he can't catch the subtitles in time. I talked to Leraine last night and we deduced that I love men that can actually SMS. Because I think SMS is a very important way to converse. And Leraine confessed that she would piss me off just as the very many people has. "m at fullerton have eaten" or something like "no dun wan try later" What the fuck is "m at fullerton have eaten"? With no punctuations whatsoever, and it's not even grammatically correct. Worst, the both of them don't come in the same sentence. So she admits she SMS like this - "where you im at bq now later dont forget to buy drinks k see ya". I know it's absolutely sane to message something like that, especially if you're being practical and not so long-winded but surely you can punctuate your sentence! So tonight's funniest conversation on SMS went like this. Me: "Babi. Before you sleep, SMS me okay." And oh we do know how Babi is quite a very insulting word to the Muslim religion. Not that it's even nice to call somebody a pig. Well, he replied. Kai: "Ok babi. You too." You see? I rolled over the floor laughing when that message came. I know I'm supposed to be doing my MM Principles, but I'm blogging because I got bored of it and I made a ridiculous promise to Leraine that I'd prolly have to keep :( | ||
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| I wanted to blog a couple of hours ago, but then I ended up not doing it. I read a few blogs tonight and everybody seemed to be doing a reflection of their 2006, and welcoming the new year, 2007. It's a good beginning I hope. Except I just hung up with the boyfriend and he seems to be annoying me tonight. I decided I would just end the night with him on a slightly better note of just saying Goodnight and doing my own stuffs. Let's see, I had a good night with good people. Good drinks. Good company. I brought in 2007 with golden masks, golden poppers, and all those funny things from party time. I kissed the boyfriend a good 2007 and thought about how we've spent 2 new year eves together. Thinking back of the night calmed me down a little. Afterall, since the beginning of this entry, I've been pissed off at him. :D But now I'm better. I'm going to quit clubbing for a really long time now, since it's making me have muscle fatigue now :( I clubbed on Saturday night. Clubbed last night. And I'm just well, overwhelmed of all of it. Oh, and Attica disappointed me tonight so I'm outsourcing another club. Would throw out the invites for my birthday again by Wednesday. Look, I'm gonna club again. !#*!*#%*! | ||
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 Haha, I just got this off Munah's blog, and I saw it on Candice's blog too. So I decided to do the quiz too. Happy new year folks! | ||
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So it's the time of the year again.. where we crack our brains and put down our New Year Resolutions for the new year! Before anything, I'd like to extend my warmest and sincerest Merry Christmas for I did not wish my dear readers, and a very very very very very happy new year in about 2 days time. :) Okay, I dug up my old resolutions from http://dirtylynen.blogspot.com which I do every year.. Dig up my old, look at it over and over again and decide if I've achieved what I want to achieve for the year. This was 2004's Resolution for 2005. 1.) start studying like a good girl. to pass my o' levels. (I TRIED. I DID. I WENT THROUGH THE O'LEVELS, THIS RESOLUTION FOR NUMBER 1 AND NUMBER 2 CAN ONLY BE FULFILLED IN MARCH.. HEH!) 2.) pass my phreaking o' levels (YES MUMMY. I WILL TRY.) (Likewise, in march.) -> Done. :) I did well enough to put me in TP CMM. Thank you very much.This, however is 2005's Resolution for 2006. #1 To wherever I'm going, I'm going to put my fullest energy to it. Be it JC (hah, yea right), Poly, LaSalle, Private .. (Well, I'm putting in effort in TP CMM) #2 I'm going to start saving money for the goodness of shopping as I've become a shopp-aholic. and to keep myself alive. (Err, Well, I've been shopping alot. I wonder if I actually save those money.) #3 Quit clubbing my life away. (Okay, 2006 was just the year that I clubbed and clubbed and clubbed somemore. HAHAHAHA. Yea, I kinda quit clubbing so much now that I'm attached.) #4 Do something about Cheers Connect Intl. and help them grow. (I joined the sales team and increased sales, and currently have closed a total of 18k - 19k turnover.) #5 Get rid of bad habits. (I don't really remember what the bad habits were that time.. so I'm hoping I already did. HAHAA.) #6 Stop thinking too much. (Oh man, I think I failed on this. I keep thinking so much it's not funny) #7 Improve my English. (read more books, and gain more knowledge.) (HAHA. I read alot of books this year. For a start, I'm gonna complete the collection of Jodi Picoult) So for this year, I've made a few. #1 Make time for old friends because I have been missing a few and today's meeting and chat on MSN has made me thought about a lot of things. #2 Make more time for studies. #3 A 50k sales turnover for the company would be good. #4 Make time for family outings, and initiate them especially since the family is not meeting up regularly anymore. #5 Embark on the new journey of Kai's life with him. #6 Club my life away, since I'm legal in say, 19 more days. #7 Shop till I drop. #8 I know all these are bad habits for my new year resolution, but what the hell? It's the new year! So, I should stop being a bloody emotional baggage to everybody else in the world. #9 Make a reason to be intellectual, all the time when I meet people. So I'd stay that way. #10 I daren't put this the year before, but I dare say now, I hope to be spending the next New Year's eve with Khai. #11 Let go of my past. The good and the bad ones. There you go, 11 New year resolutions. This year has been a bountiful of surprises. All in a bundle. I've learnt so much from life and life has been good to me, to an extent. I'll like to thank (and this I only extend to the friendships I've come across.) In no sequence and order, # Khai. for being my only one. the one who saw me through my ups and downs. my tears and smiles. for being my listening ear. my ranting tool, and the one who brightens up a rainy day. # Justin. for being the brother and the manager. for listening to me cry through the night. for watching me grow. # Shermien. for town-ing and quarrelling. and forgetting what we quarrel at the end of the day. # Jasmine. Dionna. Shi Han. Shalyn. Joanna. for town-ing and meeting up. For being there when I was crying. For being there when I had only $1.50 and no atm card. # Evelyn. because even though im scared of you, i admire you as much as well for being so consistent and for being the operational head we love. # Angie. for the mahjong sessions, and for listening to me when i needed a ear. # Melissa. for making me realise today what friendship really meant. # Yuhan. Tze. Tong. Ling. Ying. for being there and accepting me for who i am. # Farhana. for making me realise today how long our friendship has been. # Syuadah. for hearing me out when nobody was listening, when nobody wanted to listen. # Shahril. for you dear friend, for being the first to say "It's okay." # Hong Ting. for holding me up and picking up my pieces. # Avanna. for bringing me tissue. for offering your house. for being my friend. # Letitia. for being ever so bubbly and being the darling who brightens my day and for being helpful. # Yoyo. Steffie. for being crazy. # Jules. for being what you are today. for the times when you taught me how to play my cards with khai. for the times when we studied together, and for the times when we had nothing better to do but share a small little macbook pro and earphone to watch south park. # Candice. for the times we shared. at 1am - 3am on the phone. # Nura. for the times I relieved your stress. for the times we spent because we needed to wait for others. for the times you accompanied me all the way to raffles place. # Hirzi. Munah. for being my first friends in TP. for the times we spent at Jupiters. # Izyan. Inez. for the long lazy rides with Inez, and for Izyan's little chats on MSN. # Cheryl (TO3). for being the one who often ask me to go to mambo. for being my mom, and a great friend. for those msn chats we have that was heart-to-heart. # Kelvin. Bevan. Joram. for the times you lent me your notes. and your assignments. # Rachel. for the law notes, and for those times we spent whilst waiting for a class to start. # T03. for being my class. # Mark. for waking up at 5am. and MSN-ing at 3am. you are the sweetest little brother ever. # Tasnim. for the teh-tarik times. # Fie. for dinner and lunch. and town-ing. # Leraine. for two night. and for one day. and for now, msn. # CCI. for the friendships i've made, and cherish. for the ktv, and the cfa, and the clubbing trips, and because all of you are special. # CMM. for the friendships i've made. # Unity. for the friendships that still hold a special place in my heart. # Rosyth. because primary school friends are forever. # Act 3. for always being there. # Wayang Warehouse. for the encounter of new friendship. # Dramatec. for the friendships i've made. # Chestine. for being my one true childhood friend. that even now when we go out, there isn't the slightest bit of awkwardness for the both of us. # for you, my friend(s). because i still believe in us. And for my family. | ||
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